I want to come home. I want to see goodness where I feel bitterness. I want joy where I feel pain. I want peace where I feel uncertainty. I want to belong where I feel disconnected. As hard and humbling as it will be, I want to come home.
"...he problem with reservoirs is that they take a very long time to fill but they can be drained by one hole in the dam. The actions of one person can destroy what it took hundreds of people years to build." - James Comey
Jesus welcomes the lost son home happily with a feast, finds the lost coin with rejoicing, and takes back the lost sheep with joy. Jesus's mercy is abundant, and our goal is to imitate that absurdly abundant mercy to one another.
Forgiveness is the greatest gift, the greatest freedom, the greatest healing, Jesus offers.
But I think Judas and Peter had similar hearts, fallible human hearts like ours. I think the same doubts that plagued Peter were the same doubts that prevented Judas from coming back to Jesus and the other disciples. I think the same faith that caused Judas to return the money in repentance was the same faith that propelled Peter to weep bitterly and then wait in hope with the other disciples.