It takes the tragic death of a good person to make us stop rationalizing and start sitting in the brokenness and pain of our human condition.
We are each surrounded by a communion of saints, living and deceased, in our daily lives. We are never fighting the battle alone, however much it may feel like it.
Here's a cold, hard truth about the Christian life that most Christians avoid talking about: Sometimes God has us weather storms seemingly alone.
For a long time, I've believed holiness requires a degree of extroversion...but extroversion isn't natural for me.
But I think Judas and Peter had similar hearts, fallible human hearts like ours. I think the same doubts that plagued Peter were the same doubts that prevented Judas from coming back to Jesus and the other disciples. I think the same faith that caused Judas to return the money in repentance was the same faith that propelled Peter to weep bitterly and then wait in hope with the other disciples.